Doesn't look very knotty does it?
This is the pretty heart shaped basket I bought last weekend. Inside two lovely soft balls of Bamboozle from Crystal Palace Yarns in baby blues and strawberries-limes. Yep back to knitting socks!
The blue ones have been cast on and frogged once, but now I've found a more suitable pattern, they are well and truly underway. Why socks? I think they suit my rather limited attention span. Haha!
This will be the first pair I knit for me, and I'm so looking forward to getting them finished. Watch this space.
And no, that's not the problem either!
It's much more of a personal nature.
In a nutshell, how do I keep my heart locked in a box?
WARNING: If you're just here to see the scrapbooking scroll down to the end now.
It's true I'm having fun being single. (Maybe a little too much fun to some people's eyes.)
My excuse?
I was Mrs Smug Married for a long, long time. I was loved, in love, and very happy for the longest time. Until it all fell apart. Not a slow, drawn out disintegration, but a tragic, dramatic, and life changing explosion. One that I could never have foreseen, and had no idea to overcome.
But, I did.
With the love and support of my family and friends; with counselling and prescription pharmaceuticals; and with the slow movement of time and the changing seasons, I have healed the raw bloody mess to a familiar old, smooth scar.
It is true; mistakes were made along the way. It hasn't been a smooth journey, and I know I cocked stuff up big time at times. Some of those mistakes can never be put right. I have to live with that.
Realising the terrible effect this had on my beautiful children. I learned to put aside the shameful selfishness of my own pain. Helped them to heal and grow strong.
I have found a way to live my life and carry on. Being brave and putting aside the pain, I found happiness and peace in just being me. I have re-discovered old dreams and made new plans, and now I can even focus on the future with a degree of hope.
The hard thing today is to ignore my feelings, and protect my heart, in the way I know I should.
The capacity to trust has been blown away forever, I'm sure; but the capacity to love an unrelated person? And all the passion, longing and desire that goes with it? How do I keep that locked in the box?
Okay, soul-searching rant over. I really would appreciate your comments if you made it through. Otherwise, here's what you scrolled down for;
Basic Grey chipboard letters have been stamped and touched up with a bit of white pen. really like the way these turned out!
Best thing about this week?
Has to be the arrival of this...
Hmmm....I may be some time.......
Sandra x
